Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Wife+Mom+Everything Else

W I F E 

Josh (my husband) and I got married November 16th, 2012 in the Salt Lake Temple.
Our humble beginnings as a couple were very eye-opening and strengthening to our relationship.  We have learned to lean on each other and keep a continuous flow of communication with one another. Our relationship is not perfect but we have definitely grown as adults, both in our maturity and in our love.
Even though we have only been married for about 4 years, the life challenges have hit us hard. Throughout the years we have experienced everything from losing a loved one, to bringing life into this world; from not having a penny to our name to.... well we are still pretty low on the cash... but the point is that throughout the years, I have begun to understand what my role as a wife should be. As a wife, I am  a supporter, chief, listener, part time provider (while Josh finishes school) and lover. Does that mean I am always all of the above? lol not at all.  


December 2014 I found out I was pregnant. I had my baby boy, Kai. Experiencing the creation of life,while causing so much discomfort and pain, was and it is the most gratifying and joyful experience.
Being a first-time mom I have made mistakes. I have been scared and troubled but I can say that being a mommy has changed my outlook on life. Watching my son learn, explore and discover the world for the very first time is dawning. The simplicity of things brings the greatest joy to his face and brings an abundance of happiness in our lives.
A year is not nearly enough to be considered an expert in motherhood,  but the journey is full of life changing experiences and A LOT of dirty diapers.

E V E R Y T H I N G else

Aside from being a wife and a mother I have the opportunity to continue my career as an educator and family/ student advocate. While working for the district in the after school programs and attending an online graduate school, I have found other hobbies to keep, somewhat, of a balance in my life.
Some of my biggest hobbies are Crossfit and weightlifting, which has now become a family affair. These physical activities have become a great part of my journey to find self-confidence and appreciation of myself. 
Life, busy and full of imperfection. Here is mine as a Wife+mom+ everything else.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

6months = 1/2 a year

I’ve always been a little on the thicker side. Truly, I’ve learned how to embrace my wide hips, well sort of. After having my sweet, precious baby Kai I was having such a hard time with my body image. I’d look into the mirror and just see a completely different person. I couldn’t recognize myself. My face, wrinkles becoming more defined with jagged edges. Keep in my I am 27 and it sounds silly to say it out loud (writing it). But that’s all I can see. My imperfections. The wrinkles between my eyebrows. My huge pores that covered my face. My uneven eyebrows that...seemed less hairy? It was like was going bald… ON MY EYEBROWS. I tried covering it up with make-up, maybe I’d feel better. I didn’t. It only enhanced my flaws.
My body was just not the same and I couldn’t stop nitpicking at every little difference. The funny thing is that it felt like it was overnight. I went to having the golden pregnancy glow to the bride of Frankenstein.  

Despite my efforts of trying to stay a little healthy and not gaining too much unnecessary weight I was SO emotional about my body image. The first 4 weeks of postpartum I cried every day. I know I’ve said this before and I know it’s normal, because I just had a baby, but my body wasn’t the same, therefore I didn’t feel the same.
I think a big part of it was my fear of rejection from my husband. I feel like this subject is somewhat of a taboo. Something you don’t discuss. Yeah I knew I wasn’t suppose to have sex till I healed. That’s normal. I understand. But what happens when the 6 weeks are up? That questions ran through my head several times during the day. Is Josh going to love me still? Will he want me? It felt like our honeymoon night, except, I just had a baby human.
Those weren’t the only negative thoughts that ran through my head. For some reason I was scared that my husband wasn’t going to want our baby boy. Therefore, NOT WANTING ME. All the thoughts were linked together, like a domino effect. One sparked the other. That’s how it added up in my mind. And I couldn’t get over it.

It’s now 6 months since labor, and at times,  I continue to struggle. I am 2 lbs away from pre pregnancy weight, but I find myself going back to those dark feelings I use to have. Its taking me so long to get here. I find myself constantly comparing my body to what I use to be. I think, I thought 6 months would be a big milestone to my progress, physically. I had personal expectation. I would be under 150 lbs. Getting ready for Spring Break and a new swim suit.  
It’s silly how thoughts can affect your whole perspective and the image of oneself.

Last week, at the gym, I haven’t felt my best but I found myself hitting higher numbers, in ALL my lifts!!! I am at close to pre pregnancy weight and I am constantly hitting higher number then I use to. Not only can I lift more weights but my endurance has improved. Cardio, yes please. I can be on the stairmaster for 30 -40 mins, hugh! I can run more than 3 miles, which is more than I was doing 4 months ago!

Most of the time I am so hard on myself I don’t allow myself to be proud of my progress. I don’t allow myself to rejoice on my personal successes. There has to be a balance between pushing yourself to become better and loving yourself for all you have done. It’s about continuous progress, big or small. It’s about enduring and not giving up because of whatever/whoever is in our way.    

Two things I want to keep in my mind for the next 6 months.  

  1. I am not alone.
  2. Even though my progress is slow, ITS PROGRESS!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Healthy Pregnancy

Healthy Pregnancy

When I found out I was pregnant my mind was racing. I did that happy laugh cry…1 minute I was excited, the next 30 seconds I was crying. It’s a big responsibility, creating a whole new HUMAN BEING that is SOLELY dependent on YOU!!!!


Where do I start??!!!!
I started reading books about pregnancy. SO MANY BOOKS!!!!
How do I keep myself healthy? How do I keep MY BABY HEALTHY?

After 12 weeks Josh and I started telling people. Finally!!! Those first 12 weeks were scary for me. I worried about my baby. You hear about so many emotionally terrifying stories about miscarriages. I worried so bad it made me cry some days. Luckly, I had so much support after we announced. People are so loving and caring they just wanted to share their advice and opinions.

Because of my lifestyle people kept on telling me:
“Eat whatever you want and eat more.”
“You are eating for two!”
“You can NOT workout everyday.” .

So naturally,  I asked my doctor.
Contrary to what everyone else was telling me. She told me to have my healthy carbs, protein and healthy fats each meal. The first trimester I only needed about 2000 calories a day. Going into my second and third trimester I needed an additional 200-300 calories a day.

If you think about it, you’re creating a baby, not a full grown human….SO it makes sense that you only need about 300 calories extra a day.

I also asked her if I should stop Crossfitting? Do I stop working out? What are my restrictions?

I was surprised with what she said.
The way society portrays the way pregnancy... It’s a little dimension to women, if you think about it. It’s in movies and in shows, how women are suppose to act, look, and feel during pregnancy. I DID NOT want to become a stereotypical pregnant lady. Because according to society I was suppose gain a lot of weight, eat a bunch of junk food, wear sweat pants and become bipolar (to my husband I might have been a little, boarder line, bipolar.)
So yes I was surprised when she said I could continue working out as long as I am not at a calorie deficit and to listen to my body.

Basically, my goal at that point was to exercise to stay healthy, nothing else.  NO PRs (personal records)! Yay!!! I was so excited!!!
I am not going to lie. Even though my main concern, throughout my whole pregnancy. was my baby’s health I had other motives for staying healthy. Being a mother was a new role to me and a very important one but I was still a wife. I wanted to make sure my husband and I were still connecting intimately, for the health of ourselves, individually and our marriage. So I wanted to look good for my husband, while staying healthy for my baby, and myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I had a donut and Taco Bell once in awhile. I did have cravings, but let’s face it, I feel like I have struggled with cravings all my life. I mean there is always something I would rather eat than vegetables. I mean let’s be honest here. I also struggled some days, getting to the gym was the hardest part.

Throughout my whole pregnancy I did crossfit. I learned that all the motives to staying healthy was helping me keep my baby healthy. Towards the end of my pregnancy my metcons (metabolic conditioning, cardio workout) became very basic.
Lunges, light weight barbell movements, kettlebell swings, Russian kettlebell swings, rowing, step ups, power walking…basic.

At that point I was doing metcons because the doctor told me that it would help my recovery post labor, because I honestly didn't want to go to the gym anymore. Luckly, I had my husband and friends that helped me stay motivated towards my goals.

I remember telling my husband, “This Crossfit better pay off!”

By the end of the pregnancy I had gained about 30-35 pounds.
I did get a lot of negative comments about Crossfitting while I was pregnant, but I also got a few positive ones. I was feeling good. No swollen ankles or feet!!! Why would I stop? My body was feeling great and my baby boy was growing at the appropriate rate.

As the due date came closer I was getting nervous. I WAS HORRIFIED!!! My body was preparing for the MIRACLE OF LIFE!!! The biggest change my body was ever going to make in a short period of time. What if something went wrong? How was I going to have the strength to do it??!!

I still remember being at the hospital and FREAKING OUT about labor. My husband had a lot of work to do!

I was admitted to the hospital Sunday night. My doctor and I went over the birthing plan months before. It was pretty simple, epidural and no episiotomy. I trusted my doctor.

I wasn’t dilating fast enough so they gave me some pitocin and of course the epidural . A little before 4am I started pushing.
After about 30mins my son was born. YUP! Thats you read write, I ONLY PUSHED FOR 30 MINUTES. 35 to be exact. No stitches needed.
My son was born Monday, July 28, 2015.

My doctor, which was present for the majority of the labor, said that the crossfit paid off.

At this point, I didn’t know 35 minutes was short time for pushing. I was a first time mommy. This was all new to me. Since my pregnancy was different than the majority of the people I interacted with I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be. Especially with the choices I made at the beginning of my pregnancy. For the most part I did something different than most people. I ate in moderation, exercised daily and still worked full time the entire pregnancy.

Obviously, I can't say this is for everyone, but I do know that doing my best to stay healthy did help my pregnancy. As a mother I did what I thought was best for my baby and myself. Thats all that matters.

Friday, September 11, 2015

About Me

 Let me start off with some of the most common questions people ask me when they first meet me.

My name is Noelia Canales Cole but you can call me Noe (pronounced NO-E).

My parents are from Managua, Nicaragua and that is why I look ethnic or exotic, but I am from California. My family moved to Oregon after I graduated high school. At 20 years old I moved to Utah to finish college. I studied Behavioral Science and I plan on continuing my schooling and getting a masters in Social Work.

I learned Spanish first. This explains why I am speak Spanish and it also explains why sometimes I may say or write things "backwards". It really depends who I am speaking to.

I married my sweet, adorable, handsome husband, Joshua Lee Cole on November 16, 2012 in the Salt Lake City Temple. Most people don't believe in Soul Mates but I KNOW that my husband and I are attached by the soul and joined by the heart. I love more than I ever thought to love a "random" person, to come into my life.

On July 28th of 2015 we had our baby boy, Kai Martin Cole. Oh MY GOSH! He melts my heart! He is the perfect mix of Josh and I. My heart has never been so full and overwhelmed at the same time.

Together these two mean everything to me.

In this blog you will read my experiences as a wife, mother, educator, weightlifter and as a woman. I hope that by sharing my stories I can help those that feel alone and create new friendships.